tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12518624422059744742024-03-13T06:15:08.445-07:00BanjomonicaA collective workspace for all music, past and present, where anyone can contribute recordings, writing, lyrics, MORE writing, pictures, music, or fart jokes.Banjomonicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07965373245254301554noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1251862442205974474.post-87336560554538439842009-07-15T15:58:00.000-07:002009-07-16T05:30:37.289-07:00<span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-size:130%;">I Want to Form a Musical Trio and Tour Iceland</span><br /><br />I want to pack up a banjo, a harmonica, a glockenspiel, and two people willing to cram into tiny suitcases, and fly straight from Toronto to <a href="http://www.sharonrowe.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2006/03/reykjavik_original.jpg">Reykjavík</a>. Upon arrival, we will immediately locate the nearest winter garment distributor to purchase the thickest, most flamboyantly <span style="font-style: italic;">litskrúðugur </span>woolen sweaters available.<br /><br />Potential candidates must be willing to follow, without potential for alteration, this route which I created in MS Paint in no less than seven seconds:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl5lWExavsI/AAAAAAAAADI/d3kOvgaAU5Y/s1600-h/iceland_map.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl5lWExavsI/AAAAAAAAADI/d3kOvgaAU5Y/s320/iceland_map.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358832036530011842" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >As you can see, we will be visiting every town in the entire country. Our route will be relatively straightforward, with the exception of a single trip into the exact centre, carefully chosen to occur during the point of the trip where my finger slipped while using the paintbrush tool.<br /><br />Our trip will begin at 11:59 on the evening of the <a href="http://img223.imageshack.us/i/2010solsticejqe.jpg/">2010 summer solstice</a>. It will end on an entirely arbitrary day of my choosing (whenever we get bored).<br /><br />In order to ensure the trip goes smoothly, I have compiled a list of challenges we may encounter both throughout the planning stages, and eventual arrival.<br /><br />Issue #1: Financial feasibility<br /><br />Good news! While North America struggles through its own economic crisis, thanks to our valiant efforts to save ourselves, and ignorance toward other countries that really <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia">don't matter</a>, the Icelandic economy no longer exists!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl5qKDL1faI/AAAAAAAAADQ/orxV16n73-U/s1600-h/800px-OMXI15.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 227px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl5qKDL1faI/AAAAAAAAADQ/orxV16n73-U/s320/800px-OMXI15.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358837327503654306" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />(Just in case your eyes don't focus illegible resolutions, that's a candid photo of "2009" and a "big fucking vertical line" drunk and locking lips at last night's party).<br /><br />Now, I know what you're asking: "what does this mean for the price of a Big Mac in downtown Hafnarfjörður?" Well, while <a href="http://www.coe.int/t/pace/campaign/stopviolence/NationalContacts_en-Canada-1.jpg">America's hat</a> is paying more than $1.00 more <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Mac_Index">on average</a> than its head, an Icelandic Big Mac combo will run you roughly $0.00 depending on which recently unemployed fisherman you offer to help find a job.<br /><br />Issue #2: The language barrier<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl6Bif7JZFI/AAAAAAAAAEA/b-T6y5DTlIA/s1600-h/icelandic.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 159px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl6Bif7JZFI/AAAAAAAAAEA/b-T6y5DTlIA/s320/icelandic.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358863036302582866" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My best efforts to translate the preceding text using the only Icelandic language resource I own, a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8jmLec_wEc">Sigur rós</a> calendar I purchased on the internet one night last summer while drunk, leads me to believe it translates in its entirely to the English equivalent of "August". Of course, I had my doubts, so I decided to ask Icelandic born Sam Neill where I might have gone wrong:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl5-z5KTfiI/AAAAAAAAAD4/MOxlabmuhFo/s1600-h/side.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl5-z5KTfiI/AAAAAAAAAD4/MOxlabmuhFo/s320/side.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358860036599938594" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"I don't even know where to begin telling you what's wrong with just about everything you're talking about" was his response.<br /><br />I was flabbergasted.<br /><br />As much as I would love to be fluent in the language of the vikings, it turns out the vast majority of the country speaks English. Crisis averted (<a href="http://img125.imageshack.us/i/1220930355651.jpg/">for now</a>).<br /><br />Fellow Jurassic Park actor Jeff Goldblum was unavailable for comment as he was busy trying to convince the world he <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MelVwSt3sa0">wasn't dead</a> for the fifth time.<br /><br />Issue #3: Gnomes<br /><br />FACT: </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >The Lord of the Rings </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >trilogy was a travelogue written by J.R.R. Tolkien about his trip to Iceland, mistaken for a work of fiction by his publishers.<br /><br />PROOF: Figure 1.1: Composite drawing of "The Shire"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl54-5GBayI/AAAAAAAAADo/nTEW2j11zNc/s1600-h/hobbiton.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 208px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl54-5GBayI/AAAAAAAAADo/nTEW2j11zNc/s320/hobbiton.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358853628490771234" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Figure 1.2: Actual photo of your average Icelandic dwelling<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl55Qf_D6fI/AAAAAAAAADw/bWCIk5de9GY/s1600-h/Green+Rooftops,+Iceland.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sl55Qf_D6fI/AAAAAAAAADw/bWCIk5de9GY/s320/Green+Rooftops,+Iceland.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358853930988333554" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />More than 80% of the population of Iceland believes in the existence of <a href="http://echomouse.blogspot.com/2006/07/iceland-fairies-trolls-and-gnomes.html">elves, gnomes, or magic pixies</a> according to that website (and my mom during a family dinner at Swiss Chalet earlier this summer). Not even Iceland's great roadway expanses are exempt from gnomish influence. "Highway engineers in recent years have been forced to reroute roads around supposed <a href="http://www.seattlepi.com/national/elvs25.shtml">elf dwellings</a>". THIS IS WHAT ICELAND ACTUALLY BELIEVES.<br /><br />To be entirely honest, during my trip to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_earth">Iceland</a>, I'd much rather face off against my musical shortcomings than to Gollum, or some kind of maliciously enchanted <a href="http://images.epilogue.net/users/leowinstead/treant.jpg">treant.</a><br /><br />So mark your 2010 elven calendar for the 42nd eve of </span><i>lairë. </i><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >I'm already stuffing my piggy bank with valuable dwarven crystals.<br /><br />See you there.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">- Alex</span><br /></span>Banjomonicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07965373245254301554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1251862442205974474.post-70373297454275403762009-07-10T14:17:00.000-07:002009-07-13T15:24:31.601-07:00<span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-size:130%;">The Long Road</span><br /><br />Nothing gets in the way more of sitting at home in your underwear, eating crackers and jamming out on your keyboard, than having a job. On the long road to musical mastery, your job will hinder you more than any other obstacle (aside from sleep, but that can easily be curtailed with a cup coffee and a few minor <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/128915.php">serious health problems</a>.)<br /><br />We all enjoy listening to </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >music at work. It's the next best thing we can get to </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >playing</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > music at work, but I think we've all had to endure that "banjos don't pull weeds" lecture at least once in our lives. "It's just <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/4703/deathbytrashcan.jpg">common sense</a>".</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > Well, obviously she never took <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.uen.org/Lessonplan/preview.cgi?LPid=7125">third grade science</a>. I decided it was time I teach her an aesthetically pleasing lesson in garden etiquette.<br /><br />HYPOTHESIS: Music and gardening go together like peanut butter and bacon<br /><br />EXPERIMENTAL METHOD: Test that shit</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />MATERIALS: You can't have a flower dance party without the perfect mixtape. Here's something that's just begging to be taped over.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle5Re_1l7I/AAAAAAAAACY/WxmuJngdjSQ/s1600-h/DSC08187.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle5Re_1l7I/AAAAAAAAACY/WxmuJngdjSQ/s320/DSC08187.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356953991810226098" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br />A little more flower-relevant please.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle6Wck8w_I/AAAAAAAAACg/yR6fhwH9cGM/s1600-h/DSC08188.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle6Wck8w_I/AAAAAAAAACg/yR6fhwH9cGM/s320/DSC08188.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356955176571552754" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br />Perfect.</span><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Figure 3.4: A typical </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Paenoia Lactiflora</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlZllv_gwoI/AAAAAAAAAB4/g5yue2HRmKs/s1600-h/DSC08173.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlZllv_gwoI/AAAAAAAAAB4/g5yue2HRmKs/s320/DSC08173.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356580506016203394" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"I asked it, "so what kind of music do you like?" Its response was cold and reserved, but I could see the curiosity burning through its petioles. We stood there in silence for more than a minute. Suddenly I knew I wasn't going to get a a straight answer."<br /><br />Figure 7.8: </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">Paenoia Lactiflora</span> equipped with high quality JVC stereophonic audio.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlZnkv_QrlI/AAAAAAAAACA/LL10Kza0p7o/s1600-h/DSC08171.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlZnkv_QrlI/AAAAAAAAACA/LL10Kza0p7o/s320/DSC08171.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356582687858536018" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Some people believe that plants will respond to certain frequencies and vibrations at a cellular level, and think that talking to their plants, or playing classical music for them, can increase their yield. Now, I've done no research whatsoever, but nonetheless I assume that countless studies have been conducted on the effects of the music of Mozart, Bach, and the like, on all sorts of flora and fauna.<br /><br />Boooooooooooring.<br /><br />Here, for the first time ever, we're going to see how an everyday garden variety peony reacts to some REAL music. Kids these days aren't loading sonatas and arias onto their iPods, they're singing along with MGMT going "doobedoodoop" and occasionally, when the mood warrants, "dipdeepeederpdeedee".<br /><br />In order to appeal to today's flowering youth, I've decided to crank up the volume, and crank up the rock, with the classic Nine Inch Nails ballad "Closer."<br /><br />Figure 9.1: </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">Paenoia Lactiflora </span><span>immediately following </span></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >exposure to <span style="font-style: italic;">Trentus Reznorium</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlZtoeG3WxI/AAAAAAAAACI/38DR8rTjxNk/s1600-h/DSC08177.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlZtoeG3WxI/AAAAAAAAACI/38DR8rTjxNk/s320/DSC08177.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356589348847835922" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It seemed like he was really enjoying it at first. In fact, I was half expecting him to whip out his stamen and start photosynthesizing right in front of me. But sometime around the line "you can have my isolation, you can have my hate" something changed. Something <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pun">snapped</a>. Obviously I didn't get the results I was <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR/QR7-1/mehra.html">looking for</a>. Moving on.<br /><br />Figure 5.7: A plant of the </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >lettuce <span style="font-style: italic;">family, </span></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >commonly known as </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >lettuce</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle90TQwYUI/AAAAAAAAACo/zpDVK6xxTE8/s1600-h/DSC08232.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle90TQwYUI/AAAAAAAAACo/zpDVK6xxTE8/s320/DSC08232.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356958988001894722" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Figure 7.3: You get the idea<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle-aMgC-DI/AAAAAAAAAC4/eUzXekt4PqA/s1600-h/DSC08189.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle-aMgC-DI/AAAAAAAAAC4/eUzXekt4PqA/s320/DSC08189.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356959639022008370" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />NEW HYPOTHESIS: Music doesn't make plants </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >grow</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > better, hippies and old people have had it wrong the entire time, music makes plants </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >taste</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > better.<br /><br />MATERIALS: Mouth + lettuce<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle_OGI--xI/AAAAAAAAADA/9T3UstBw5_c/s1600-h/DSC08220.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/Sle_OGI--xI/AAAAAAAAADA/9T3UstBw5_c/s320/DSC08220.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356960530667862802" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It tastes just as bad as you would think a big pile of lettuce would taste. And I think it was covered in parasites.<br /><br />CONCLUSION: <del>I was right, suck it science</del> Further research required.<br /><br />Time well spent I say. Until next time.<br /><br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">Alex</span><br /><br /></span>Banjomonicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07965373245254301554noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1251862442205974474.post-44756572268568762512009-07-07T18:13:00.001-07:002009-07-12T13:58:58.613-07:00<span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;">The Piano</span><br /><br />As a self-described musical visionary, I've always<span style="font-size:85%;"> fe</span>lt the only thing holding me back was a crippling lack of <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/eric_lewis_plays_chaos_and_harmony.html">talent</a>. Nevertheless, I feel that what I lack in talent, I more than make up for in WISHING I had talent. Therefore I'd like everyone out there to take a moment, gather round, and bear</span></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-size:85%;"> witness to my inspiring rise from drunken keyslammer to concert virtuoso.</span></span><br /><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />Even <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schubert">Schubert</a> (pronounced shoe-BURT with appropriate emphasis) had to dish out a few earsplitting renditions of Mary Had a Little Lamb (potential blatant <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.famousquotes.me.uk/nursery_rhymes/mary_had_a_little_lamb.htm">inaccuracy</a>) before penning his greatest symphonies in his elder years (and dying of syphilis, and that was back BEFORE it was cool).<br /><br />We've all heard the expression "those who don't know, teach" and if I've learned anything in my lifetime from timeless folk adages, it's that there is no better source for advice (potentially save Reader's Digest, and that's really only relevant for miraculous volcano survivals and the ten best ways to save money this Christmas). So, in order to better understand the nuances of sheet music for myself, I'm going to gather together what little I've learned over the past three years and teach YOU, the reader, how to play Schubert's classic composition "Mary Had a Little Lamb."<br /><br />Figure 1: The "score"<br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlP5hee43hI/AAAAAAAAABQ/zIi2B6VHp7E/s1600-h/maryohshit.GIF"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 253px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlP5hee43hI/AAAAAAAAABQ/zIi2B6VHp7E/s320/maryohshit.GIF" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355898735387270674" border="0" /></a></div><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Fun fact: The ONLY song written in the past 200 years that sounds better when you scream out the notes rather than play it.<br /><br />(BAGABBBAAABDDBAGABBBBAABAG)<br /><br />Figure 2: The subject </span></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-size:85%;">(potential <del>blatant</del> minor inaccuracy)</span></span><br /><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlP8kzs2dGI/AAAAAAAAABY/9TN-drOLjNE/s1600-h/chrismartin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlP8kzs2dGI/AAAAAAAAABY/9TN-drOLjNE/s320/chrismartin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355902091157468258" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Figure 3: The lesson<br /><br /></span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlQHDqg1UaI/AAAAAAAAABw/Ml0kIjfHZ6Y/s1600-h/Sheet_Music_to_piano.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 247px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlQHDqg1UaI/AAAAAAAAABw/Ml0kIjfHZ6Y/s320/Sheet_Music_to_piano.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355913616383365538" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Everything you could ever want to know about sheet music (save rests, dynamics, sharps, flats and just about everything important) in one simple picture. Remember the simple acronym for Mary Had a Little Lamb? </span></span></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >B.A.G.A.B.B.B.A.A.A.B.D.D.B.A.G.A.B.B.B.B.A.A.B.A.G.</span> It rolls right off the tongue. And it's all at your fingertips now.<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br />Figure 4: The demonstration</span></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> (talent sold separately)</span></span><br /><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></span><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwIcm1r2wmdtX6LmlT9qEDV9QCZx9xOWRdN3XR-R3drwoIigi7Aie9jhnA2IUuN83bgp73ecHVEImqBN5oTWg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">"Technology to the rescue"<br /><br /></span>In the age of MIDI keyboards and internet dating, it's a small miracle what you can do with a little technical know-how. Welcome to the role of the producer, who, if properly trained, and with the help of a reverb or two, can turn the sound of a wild monkey orgy into the latest prog-epic by The Mars Volta. Let's see if we can't do something similar. Our next subject, the "almost perfect" recording.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlQD1IKxYVI/AAAAAAAAABg/NR2g9PUJseg/s1600-h/Fucker.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 252px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlQD1IKxYVI/AAAAAAAAABg/NR2g9PUJseg/s320/Fucker.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355910068110975314" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Looks like we've got a black lamb amongst our flock (of lambs.) See that circled fucker there? That's an F. Sounds all innocent doesn't it? Well sit yourself down because here comes the bombshell: that F... shouldn't be an F at all. Shift it up a notch (or two if you're big into sharps), because it'd sound a hell of a lot better as a G. In this case, F is for "failure." G is for "good" as in "good note" as in "the right note." But what can we do? We can thank the inventor of the clink-n-drag.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlQFAf_E3-I/AAAAAAAAABo/TZze4lFSZrA/s1600-h/Nowweretalking.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 79px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xtBiodqqU2k/SlQFAf_E3-I/AAAAAAAAABo/TZze4lFSZrA/s320/Nowweretalking.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355911362994560994" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Can we get an instant replay on that?<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzu7ZC15ei7V8IzrOMiuK0rybWmuIHwZtI-7-4U0J6QRBKkMa_8fj_jziX9cyiuDHiBlOYxoIc3fBxnpqR9' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />Beautiful. Tune in next week to learn how to make your very own rock anthem with nothing more than a fork, a pizza box, an even MORE enthusiastic thumbs up, and of course, a big 'ol bag 'o dreams.<br /><br />Keep hope alive.<br /><br />- <i>Alex</i>Banjomonicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07965373245254301554noreply@blogger.com3